You know what is crazy? Having your last University essay done. You know what is even more insane? Your last University essay being on Mandy Moore and Rhianna, and a comparison between their two version’s of the song “Umbrella”. Sometimes it is just awesome being an arts kid. I’m really going to miss it.
This weekend I’m heading away for a couple days with my Mom, and a friend of hers. We’re going to the Oak Island Inn for a women’s retreat. Mom’s been wanting to take my sister and I for a couple of years now, and although Krista probably won’t be able to make it down until Saturday after she gets off work at five, I know I’m pretty excited about it. Mom and I don’t really spend a whole lot of quality time together outside of Frenchy’s shopping, so that should be interesting. Mostly, I’m really excited about getting away for two days and really getting a chance to relax. My anxiety is through the roof lately, and I’ve been panicking just sitting down, watching television. It’s been a long time since I’ve been this bad, so I’m hoping even two days away will be enough to just relax.
I also really want to take this weekend to get back to exercising and healthy eating. Not that I’ve really ventured that far away from healthy eating–with a few sugar-free candy treats–I just really want to dedicate myself to it. Summer is coming, and I want to feel good about myself. Ever since I’ve gained the weight back I’ve felt… large. Which should be crazy because at 5’8″ I’m not supposed to weigh under 100 pounds. And I know that even at my current weight I’m still underweight (and that’s been my natural weight for years now, excluding last year). I just… I want to get toned again so that I stop constantly feeling fat. Plus when I’m working out I don’t feel nearly as anxious as I have been lately. Maybe it’s a good thing it’s coinciding with the wellness weekend. I can relax and I can spend two days working out like crazy so that when I come home it will just be easy to slip into that state of mind. Plus there is a pool and I’ve been dying to go swimming for ages now.
Summer just can’t come soon enough.
Now excused me while I download far too many late 90s pop songs to listen to while working up a sweat and finding peace and balance (… or something like that.)