I came to a sad realization tonight as I continued to clean my room… again. I don’t venture far enough into my closet at all. It’s not that I don’t love each and every item of clothing I own–I don’t buy things I don’t absolutely love–it’s just that I seem to find myself reaching for the same items over and over and over again. T-shirts. Jeans. Black skirt. Tights. Sometimes I change it up slightly but for the most part it’s all the same. And staring at the unloved clothing left behind, I feel sad.
With summer coming, I really need to get out. I need to dress up. I need to stop being so afraid… of people noticing me; of standing out. Once upon a time I was that girl. And even though I used it as an excuse, I don’t think it was just winter that stopped me. It was something else. Something I couldn’t really explain… still can’t really explain. I can dress up when it comes to my bedroom, but the real world is an entirely different story. Sometimes that girl inside of me comes out, and sometimes she shines. But for the most part I find myself relying on old favorites inside of finding new ones.
And it needs to stop.
I love fashion. I love colors and frills and flowers and everything. I could spend hours watching RAW on FashionTV, studying the different collections. And I want to let that part of me come out more. When I was a little girl–even five, six years old–I was constantly dressing up. One day I would pretend I was a princess. The next day maybe I was on a safari (I have clear memories of copying the looks of the girl in Jurassic Park.) I also remember pretending to be Nancy Drew. I may no longer be ten years old, but I miss being that playful when it comes to clothes. Experimental. Silly, even. Sure, sometimes you can make a fashion faux paux. But sometimes they are the looks which are the most fun.
So here is my goal: for thirty days (starting tomorrow, April 24th/09) I am going to try and come up with a different look everyday. There not necessarily need be a theme–although themes be full of fun–but the look needs to change up every day. And I can’t once repeat said outfit. Items of clothing can be repeated, but must be worn differently. And to ensure that I don’t let myself down, I’m going to try and document each and every outfit. If I have reason to keep on the straight and narrow, it may make it easier to step out of my shell a little bit. And that’s really what this is about: stepping out. About escaping the dark cloud that’s been keeping me hidden from the world.
And here… we… go…
p.s. the plus side to this whole thing–even if I don’t have anything to write about, at least I’ll have pretty clothes pictures to captivate with.