I didn’t end up starting the DVD yesterday. I was too exhausted and too hung over. However, I did start it today and even though it was hard, I feel good for getting through it. And I really am going to try and work do it every single day, in the morning when I am bouncing with energy. Ideally, I’d love to start every day with Jillian, and then do something else (Wii Fit, summer activities, walking, ect) later in the day. I’m going to start slowly, because I don’t want to over do it, but it is a goal of mine. And that got me thinking: I’ve been daydreaming about things I want to accomplish this summer. A whole list of things that I can cross off before September rolls around. I want to get out of my head, do things I’ve never done before (or haven’t done for a really long time) and conquer my fears.
So here’s what I’ve come up with so far:
- Start exercising everyday.
- Start cooking more.
- Learn how to make fresh guacamole and salsa.
- Go camping, and sleep under the stars.
- Write everyday without caring about the details.
- Get my license and learn to drive again.
- Have a really awesome water fight.
- Throw a barbecue with all the Shannon friendly fixings.
- Get out of the house more on walks.
- Try and start running//jogging.
- Use the Wii fit more often.
- Call my friends, and initiate plans with them instead of waiting for them to call//text//message me.
- Go out dancing.
- Express my self more creatively.
- Spend less time inside and more time outside, in the sunshine.
- Eat out more (like trying The Heartwood Cafe, which I’ve been try for so, so long).
I’m sure I’ll come up with more things. I always do. But what I really want is to be able to start crossing some of those things off my list. I’ve spent the last couple years going better moments of serious anxiety, slowly slipping away. And what I want more than anything is to start having fun again, to stop being so afraid of living. I’m twenty-two years old and if I don’t stop being scared now then there are so many amazing things that I could miss out on. And I don’t want to miss anything.