“Summer, summer… where night belongs to lust and lovers.”
Summer has always been my favorite season, and the setting of most of my adventures. It tends to be the reason why a lot of my short stories and novels take place during the summer months. But so far this summer, I haven’t been feeling it. The truth is, I’m just itching for an adventure. With working close to 40 hours a week, without a day off, I haven’t had a chance to bask in the plentiful sunny days we’ve been blessed with. My life is pretty much work, food, work, sleep, work, work work, sleep. There has been no time for fun, no time for friends, no time for adventure, and especially no time for storytelling.
And even worse, I’ve been in a strange place, thinking far too much about the past.
Maybe it’s because it’s summer, maybe it’s because we planned so much that will never happen, maybe it’s because I’m going to two weddings in August (alone, as of right now), but I’m lonely. I’m beyond lonely. And I’m finding myself missing that place in my life Andrew used to take up. There feels like there is this huge, gaping hole where he should have been. And it hurts. And I wish I could say that my friends could fill this whole, but for some reason I’ve been completely abandoned by many of those I called friends which means in the 2 seconds I have where I might need to talk to someone, I find myself sitting alone in my bedroom, wading through these thoughts on my own. And it never helps.
It’s not like I’m not moving on. I am. Maybe it’s not that I miss Andrew (because I certainly don’t want to get back together, or be with him)–maybe it’s I miss romance in general. I miss dating. Being single has it’s plus sides, but at the same time I miss holding hands, and sweet kisses, and the excitement that being with only one person brings. Especially during the summer when it feels like anything can happen.
I just want a little romance in my life. I just want to find someone to have an adventure with. Someone to stir that part of me I thought I’d lost when Andrew left me.