It’s time to admit it. I just can’t ignore it anymore. Summer is over.
Truthfully, ever since I started my new job I’ve been feeling more and more like summer was ending. Working long hours (and an abundance of fall clothing in stores) will do that to a girl. Even still, with September only hours away, I can’t help but find myself looking back longingly at the Summer that was. Today I spent what will probably be my last day at the lake, soaking in the sunshine as much as possible with my best friend by my side, feeling a little bit nostalgic–already–for the last couple months.
You know, without a doubt, I can say I’ve lived more in the last three or four months than in the last twenty four years. I’ve always been one of those people who has to write what they know. Sure, I always embellish, but I need inspiration for which to draw from. And sometimes I feel like maybe that’s why my stories have been a lot of the same, over and over. When you only know a few things, or haven’t lived all that much, it’s harder to draw from your own experiences. But over the course of the last year, I’ve found myself coming out of my shell a little bit more, taking risks I never would have taken before, finally embracing who I am. And this Summer… well, it was the summer of me. I finally let go of all the preconceived ideas I had about how to live, threw my hands in the air, and jumped in with both feet without once thinking about the what ifs. I felt like I was living, making up for lost time. And oh boy, do I have some stories to tell.
But now that I can feel fall in the air, I suddenly realize that I also need something solid to hold onto. A future. That’s the thing I feel myself craving so much. A solid path to look down, somewhere in the horizon where I know I’m headed. Right now… right now I have a job, yes, and I love it. Hell, it could even be a career. But a job doesn’t make a life alone, and so lately I’ve really been considering the future. And what I want out of it. And more and more I’ve realized if I really want to blossom, then it may be time to leave. Leave home. Leave Halifax. Leave Nova Scotia. I’m a big fish in a little pond, and I’m craving a change of scenery so badly. There are so many things I want, a future I keep avoiding. And it’s time I took the same bravery I had in embracing my summer, and made a decision, no regrets.
The winds of change of blowing, and the big city is calling me.
It won’t happen all at once, I’m sure. But one day soon I hope I’ll have a big announcement to share.