When I was a little girl, or even in my teens, I remember thinking of my best friends and just knowing that we’d all be forty, or sixty, or eighty, and still together, and still causing trouble. But the truth is, while my life has been quietly changing and coming together, so has the lives of those around me. And I can’t really fight the fact now that everyone–my childhood best friends, and best friends from recent years–are all about to scatter across the country on new adventures, leaving me behind.
I knew the grey area of being a teenager couldn’t last forever. Growing up is just that–growing. Spreading your wings and setting yourself free to see just exactly you’re capable of. But I have to admit, even if it’s been a long time coming, this all seems kind of sudden to me. It makes me wish I could hold onto those silly summers just a little bit longer, before they’re gone for good–even if they’re already gone for good. I’ve always been one for nostalgia, and now I feel myself clinging to it more than often.
Not that I’m not having my own adventures. Life right now has never been more exciting. And I do finally feel like things are settling themselves into place. While my adventure may not involve plane rides or new cities, it’s still happening, and it’s still exciting. And there is a part of me, however small, that feels right to break free out of the shadow of someone else, and prove myself in my own right. But now I have no choice; whether or not I’m ready for it, there is no one’s shadow to hide under. There is just me, standing front and center.
I know a goodbye is coming–a goodbye to my teenage years, and a goodbye to silly summer nights. It hurts. But it’ll be good to know I’ll still have the memories to hold onto. And, hopefully, one hell of a story to tell someday.