But you make me wanna act like a girl… paint my nails and wear perfume for you.

So I’ve written before that over the last couple years I’ve tried to conqueror my issues with anxiety, self harm, and disordered eating. With anxiety especially, I was told to try and put my energy into concentrating on something–anything–else. Now this might seem silly… but one of the best things I’ve found to put my energy into was nail art. I’ve always been obsessed with nail polish, ever since I was a kid trying to recreate Buffy Summers’ gorgeous manicures.

Over the last couple years I’ve discovered nail art blogs, and fell in love. I started slowly at first, trying different designs, but when I started recovering from my eating disorder I needed something to concentrate on other than food–or calories, or the weight I was gaining–and I really started to love painting my nails. Doing them made me feel pretty. No matter what I weigh, my nails don’t change–and I like being able to concentrate on that. Sure, I’m slightly obsessed with polish but I don’t think that’s a bad thing.

And thankfully, I have a boyfriend who understands why I have almost 300 bottles of polish… and growing. He even helps me pick out colors when I can’t think of how I want to do my nails. Now that’s love.

nails

nails2

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Na na na na…. Batman.

I’m feeling a little lost on words lately.

Its been happening far too often it seems. But while I’m trying to come up with something worthwhile–or even not so worthwhile–I thought I would share some adorableness. It’s not secret that my nephew is probably one of my favorite people in this whole wide world, and person #1 who keeps me sane when it feels like I’m going off the deep end (And, he doesn’t even realize this.

And to prove why he’s my favoritest person in the whole universe, a video.

And you can tell Jane, if she writes, that I’m drunk off all these stars and all these crazy Hollywood nights.

While going through a list of things I could write about, I was kind of at a loss. It’s not like things haven’t been happening lately–a lot is going on. It’s that I’m just not sure where to start. It’s almost overwhelming. So I figured there was no time like the present for something a little random, something that had little to do with anything. Once in a while, it’s nice not to have a point, but to write for the sake of writing. And so, with that being said…

Twenty-one Random Things You Didn’t Know About Me (And probably don’t care about either):

  1. My very first “boyfriend” was in kindergarten. His name was Jesse, and he had a rat tail and wore a leather jacket. He was also left back in kindergarten when everyone moved on. Even at 4, I really knew how to pick winners.
  2. Sometimes, when I feel a case of writer’s block going on, I put on one of my many pairs of nerd glasses. I’m not sure why, but for some reason it makes me feel more writerly. (Yes, I’m aware writerly is not a real word. That’s not the point.)
  3. There are 2656 songs on my iTunes.
  4. I own over sixty bottles of nail polish, and counting. Currently I’m loving mixing and matching with the OPI Shatter (I have silver and black and I really want to add at least white to the collection). I’ve also been playing around with the idea of doing a Batman themed mani soon. Wait and see..
  5. My (third) cousin is Brad Richards, who just signed a contract to play for the New York Rangers. Yes, that’s pretty much my only semi-celebrity contact, but he did play for the Tampa Bay Lightning a couple years ago when they won the Stanley Cup.
  6. I’ve never read any of the Harry Potter books, nor seen any of the movies, and yet I’m completely obsessed with A Very Potter Musical. Though, it could have something to do with the very adorable Darren Criss.
  7. My very first real job was selling furniture.
  8. Lately, I’ve realized I really miss acting. In High School, I lived for Drama class. In grade 11, I starred as Cindy Lou Who in our class production of The Grinch, and in grade 12 I was the Ghost of Christmas Past. I’ve decided I’m going to try and see if I can get into it again. I just love how it brings me out of my shell.
  9. My favorite apple is granny smith.
  10. Even in the dead of winter, I always always always have my toe nails painted. I just cannot abide bare nails.
  11. The last book I read was Sarah Dessen’s “This Lullaby“. I relate far too much to the main character in that book. It’s so comfy to return to. I’ve read it so many times, that I’m surprised I can’t repeat it, word for word, without even having to repeat it. Also reading “On The Road“.
  12. The last comic books I read was “Batman: A Death in the Family” and “Batman: Under the Hood“.
  13. Thirteen is my lucky (and favorite) number.
  14. I own about fifteen pairs of sunglasses (that I can think of off the top of my head). To me, sunglasses are like shoes or purses. You need to have one to go with every outfit. Although my current favorites are my pink (Hello, Kitty) wayfarers. They cost me $1, and there is nothing wrong with that.
  15. Darren Criss’ cover of “Part of Your World” just came on my iTunes. (I also almost just wrote “eye tunes”).
  16. Sometimes, I really miss actually dating. Or just having someone to get to know. Sometimes, being single can be really lonely. Plus, I miss having someone to make special gluten-free cupcakes for.
  17. Lately, I’ve really been thinking about making some serious life changes. A job, for one. But I’ve been feeling like growing up some is definitely needed. Weekend madness has been fun, but I’m starting to get tired of that whole scene. Who would have thought?
  18. I really want a Star Wars shirt.
  19. It blows my mind that this blog has been around for almost three years. And that I’m still writing here.
  20. I’m a notorious tipsy//drunk texter. It has gotten to the point where if I go to a friend’s house, I made sure to store my purse somewhere so I don’t play with my phone until the morning. I’ve always been known to have some hilarious drunk Facebook conversations. And one absolutely hilarious MSN conversation (and four hour phone call at 3am) with my high school ex-boyfriend the night before the big break up.
  21. Sometimes, I seriously considering saving up as much money as possible, and moving away, making a life change. I’m not so sure that Halifax if going to be the location of the great big things coming my way. But I suppose only time will tell what the future holds for me.

You got your hair combed back and your sunglasses on, baby.

So here’s the thing, every so often I get to crushing on a celebrity in such an immense way that it’s actually funny. I think it was something to do with the fact that I can’t handle a real life relationship, so an imaginary celebrity boyfriend is pretty much the next best thing.

For a long time, that celebrity boyfriend was Chris Lowell.

I pretty much fell deeply in love with him the second he popped up on Veronica Mars, and he’s the reason that season 3 is the season I watch most often. There was just something awkward and adorable about him–plus I’ve always had a thing for boys with shaggy hair–that I instantly was smitten. That scene (above) where he goes for it and kisses Veronica Mars. Talk about swoon worthy. When Veronica Mars was tragically ripped from my life, I followed him to Private Practice, falling even harder for his sweetness. The boy just oozes charm. Really, I thought it was an imaginary relationship for the ages. True fake love. But sadly, like any relationship, sometimes you have to admit when things just aren’t working anymore. And you have to imaginary break up.

But, be still my heart. There is someone who has totally stolen it.

First off, I love Glee. It’s totally my guilty pleasure. And one of the reasons I’ve especially enjoyed the show is the lovely boy pictured here. And it’s funny, because at first I just enjoyed his character, but didn’t think too much about it (although, I have to admit, his cover of “Don’t You Want Me” was just…. yeah. Awesome.) And then I saw a couple interviews with him, and oh my goodness, serious swoonage. I’m not ashamed that I have watched quite a few videos on Youtube (not to mention A Very Potter Musical). First off, he’s smart, adorable and charming. Secondly, the boy is beyond talented. And third, he can rock pink sunglasses like nobody’s business, and you know… I like that in a guy.

Seriously, who needs a real life boy when you can have an imaginary one?

And, because I have to share this adorableness with the world (and, okay, have an excuse to watch it again), one of my favorite videos I’ve discovered. If only I could find a real life guy this adorable. Seriously, what is it about a guy who can sing?

We are the cartoon heroes (oh-oh-oh)… we are the ones who’re gonna last forever.

Boy’s X-men graphic tee. White garage tank top. Black jeggings. Purple Claire’s nerd glasses. Not pictured: Black Joe Fresh flip flops.

It’s no secret, that I have a thing for superheroes. I’ve made it very clear. But sadly, my collection of superhero t-shirts is definitely not up to Sheldon Cooper standards. While I’m always on the look out for more to add to my collection (which currently includes Superman, Wonder Woman, Green Lantern, Batman–obviously–and a few of the Marvel superheroes), I don’t really have the funds right now to afford the t-shirt collection I wish I could own. However, after seeing the new Thor movie I decided I have a new superhero crush and wanted a t-shirt to show my devotion. Sadly, I couldn’t find one in the comic book style that I can currently afford. HOWEVER, checking the little boys section, I discovered they have a huge collection of t-shirts. No Thor, sadly, but I did find this little treasure.

As a kid, I grew up obsessed with the X-Men animated series. I wanted to be Storm. So when I saw this shirt, Wolverine right up front, I knew I had to buy it. Now some people may say that 24 year old women shouldn’t buy kids clothing, but to those people I say: pfffft! Did you know that you don’t have to pay HST on Kids clothing? Besides, if the shirt fits… why not buy it? Personally, I think Sheldon would be proud.

Now I just need to find myself a Thor, a Flash, an Aquaman and maybe Ironman to add to my collection. (Not to mention Star Wars and Transformers to boot!) I’ll definitely always be a nerdy kid at heart.

You know… you’re quite the charmer. My knight in armour.

I don’t think I’ve made it any secret that I have a fairly unhealthy obsession with Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Besides the DVDs, I own books, novelizations, action figures, and even the Buffy Musical soundtrack. And, okay, there may STILL be a poster of the cast I got (when I was in the 8th grade) taped to the back of my bedroom door. And maybe–maybe–I’ve been trying to figure out how to get a Buffy inspired tattoo. Like I said, unhealthy obsession.

 

So you can imagine my excitement level when I found out that Nicholas Brendon will be coming to my home of Halifax for Hal-con this year (in November). I won’t even lie–I went screaming out of my bedroom, rushing downstairs screaming “oh my god. oh my god. oh my god!“. Here’s the thing–Buffy may have been my childhood hero but Xander Harris was my first true love. He was nerdy, and awkward, and sweet, and I could only dream I would meet a nice loyal boy like him to fall for. To actually get to see Nicholas Brendon in person? Well let’s just say I will be paying the $230 for the whole she-bang so that there will be no doubt I get a picture and an autograph and to let my inner 11 year old confess my undying love.

And damn straight I’ll be wearing a Sunnydale High t-shirt while I do it.

Now please excuse me while I return to Buffy: season 2 and Halloween Solider Xander while daydreaming of how much of a silly girl I’m going to be when I meet him. Sa-woon.

Oh Batman… you’re the sex.

swollen and fresh, but I adore it.

I waited almost seven years for my infinity symbol tattoo, and it was well worth the wait. And now I’ve added to it with another tattoo of special meaning. It didn’t take 7 years, but without a doubt it holds just as special a place in my heart.

A couple months ago, I tweeted that I wanted to get the Bat Symbol tattooed on my person. It’s no secret my love of all things Batman related. But the truth is, my tattoo goes deeper than my nerdiness. The more I got thinking about the tattoo, the more I’ve come to realize why I wanted to get it done so badly. The last 12 months, since the day I turned 23, have not been easy. This year has been filled with a roller coaster of emotions, and I’ve faced things I never in a million years thought I could survive: the ultimate betrayal by the person I trusted the most, and losing two people that meant more than the world to me. And it made me realize that yes, I may not wear a cape or have the ability to fly, but I’m  a superhero none-the-less. And this tattoo is what that represents to me. Okay, it’s also the embodiment of the fact that I’m a complete nerd–and I like wearing that fact so openly–but it’s deeper than that. It’s everything I hoped it would be, and I’m so glad I got it (even if it did hurt 10x more than my wrist).

Twenty-four… there is nothing you can throw at me that I can’t survive. After all, I’m Batman.

If you are alive then be truly alive… just open up your eyes pay attention to the signs; the color of the sky in this night.

The first of October–I can hardly believe it.

In truth though, I’m not exactly excited about this month. I’ve been losing my mind a bit just thinking about everything. Unfortunately I’m already fearing the memories this month will bring. I know it sounds silly to want a month over before it has even really began, but I do. I wouldn’t even mind fast forwarding through the next couple months and starting over new and fresh with a brand new year, all things considered. Unfortunately, life doesn’t work like that, and we have to make it through the rough times in order to truly appreciate the good moments.

October has always held a lot of things; it used to be my favorite month. After all, it boasts not only Halloween (which, hands down, is my favorite holiday) but my birthday as well. And, in times past, held an anniversary with a certain boy. But now when I think of October I can’t help but think of the death of close family members, of the fact my grandmother won’t be celebrating her birthday, of the fact that it would have been seven years.  My brain spins with so much negativity it makes me want to cry thinking of the fact there is still 30 more days left.

But I’m trying not to. I’m trying to be positive, to focus on the good things–like turning 24, and the chance for things to turn around (and that there is a boy in the background, promising to make it a good night). Like the fact that the Ataris–my all-time favorite band–will be playing in Halifax on the 27th. Like I’m going to be mother freaking Wonder Woman for Halloween, and if I do say so myself, look hot in my costume. And the fact that I’m braving the needle for another tattoo in just a couple weeks (the old school Bat Symbol, on my hip). All these things are good things, positive things. Things that I hope will make October a month to look back on and say: “damn, that was a good time.” Or just smile uncontrolably.

I know there are going to be moments that make want to cry–that’s part of life. But if I can survive the last 365 odd days, I think I can handle what ever October holds. Good, bad, and unknown.

27 days… oh man, 27 days. ♥

She wants a good time… No need to rewind. She needs to really really find what she wants… she lands on both feet… won’t take a back seat. There’s a brave new girl.

It’s kind of funny if you compare pictures of me from only a year ago (or, even six months ago) to pictures from today. In a lot of ways, I look like a completely different person. My hair is longer, and a different color. I have a nose ring. But more than that, I think I look like I feel happier, and I definitely look more confident. The more time the passes, the pinker my hair gets, the more I settle into who I am, the more and more confident I feel about whatever the future holds. It’s weird sometimes. It’s not like I’ve completely changed who I was in a year, or even denied who I was, but I think I just feel more comfortable with myself, and all the little details about myself who make me who I am.

I’m a little totally weird. I have debates in my head over whether I should buy Batman comics or Floral H&M dresses. I’m absolutely in love with Jim Parsons. I haven’t listened to current radio in six months, and couldn’t tell you who half the bands popular on the radio are. I still know pretty much all the S Club 7 dances. I make a mean pan of vegan nachos. I have a tendency to get a little tipsy and kiss cute boys. I have a thing for skulls and cross bones, birds, Hello Kitty, and Batman. One glass of white wine, and I’m the life of the party. Sometimes I forgive way too easily. I can’t help but swoon for a cute guy in glasses. I dance in the middle of grocery stores, regardless of who is watching. I have a knack for attracting gay men.

And I think pink hair makes everything better.

With forces of darkness abound… the demons and vamps always come around. But when they rise up in the night… the Slayer will come… the Slayer will fight.

Floral Lace Sundress. Black knitted cardigan. Pink Beaded Choker and Moon and star necklace (both from Claire’s). Not pictured: Black and cork wedges.

I’ve been watching a lot of Buffy the Vampire Slayer lately. I’m rewatching the entire series, seasons 1-7 (which, I finally collected all of as of this Christmas.) Whenever I watch Buffy, I instantly am inspired by her style, just as I did when I was 13, and find myself longing for warm Southern Californian days. It may be spring, and there may be hints that summer is on it’s way, but the days can still have a chill in the air. Never-the-less I decided to brave any chill and let my inner Buffy come out. The look is subtle, and I doubt anyone else would think “Wow, she’s totally copying Buffy!” but to me, this is her to me. I realize that I’m totally putting my inner nerd out there for the world to see, but oh well. I am who I am.