Sometimes you gotta stop and remember that your not gonna live forever… be young, think smart, stay true and just follow your heart.

april

Life lately has been extraordinarily unexciting lately.

Maybe it’s the thing about getting to be in your (dear god) late twenties, but swinging nights of dancing are replaced with cosy cuddles on the couch. The most exciting thing that I’ve done is join a gym. Yep, seriously. 5:30 am woke out sessions have become my new favorite thing–besides nail polish of course. Work is work, and it’s not getting any better. If it weren’t for the people I work with being the most awesome people I’ve ever met, I certainly wouldn’t still be there. And I can feel my days as a retail slave being numbered. There are only so many crazy people you can deal with in your life, before it drives you mad. And after 8 years… it’s time for something new. But until I find that totally awesome place, I can at least be content in the fact I have an awesome discount on nail polish, which in turn gives me happy vibes. And I know at the end of the day, I have the most amazing boyfriend to come home to, for all the couch cuddles a girl could ever ask for.

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What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger… stand a little taller. Doesn’t mean I’m lonely when I’m alone. What doesn’t kill you makes a fighter… footsteps even lighter. Doesn’t mean I’m over ’cause you’re gone.

Two years ago, my life changed completely. In a big way. My grandmother, one of the most influential women in my life, passed away suddenly, and without notice. I remember that night like it was yesterday–it sticks with me, knocking me sideways when I have to realize just how much it shifted everything. I didn’t just lose my grandmother, I lost my innocence. While things around me were already changing in big ways, that was the beginning of one of my darkest periods. But it was also the beginning of my biggest growth.

Now, two years later, things keep shifting.

I’ve never been very good at handling change. I used to run from it, content to sail of a sea of the familiar. And yet, here I am, all grown up (or, so they say). And I’m jumping right in to these new, crazy changes, not even worrying if I’ll sink or swim.

I’m dating someone. I’ve been promoted at work. I’ll be out on my own in a matter of months. These are things I used to be scared–hell, terrified–of, and yet I’m excited for each and everyone. I haven’t dated anyone since I was seventeen, scared shitless at the idea of referring to someone as my “boyfriend” and yet here I am, giddy over a boy who makes me smile, and laugh, with no thoughts on what it could mean or if I might get my heart broken.  I’m jumping into my new role and work, embracing my new found responsibility, excited for this chance to finally prove to the world: you know what, I kick ass. I’m being an adult, cutting ties with those who bring me down, and finally ready to make my grand debut into the real world (if only a little belated.)

And what’s the point of this spiel?

When I look back on that girl two years ago, I had no idea what was to come. I thought losing Granny was by far the worst thing that could ever happen, and oh boy, how wrong I was. But it proved something to me I will forever cherish–it finally showed me how strong I can be. And two years later, I am so grateful that I know now that I won’t crumble under pressure. Every choice may not be the right choice, and I’m going to fail–that’s all part of being human. But it’s what you do afterwards that counts. Because whatever comes after shows you just how strong you truly are.

And change? Well I totally got that.

I can be the girl in your fantasy, wild and free… say that you let me. A playboy bunny is all you need for tonight.

Wow, I haven’t written since last year. Where the heck has my brain been?

Wouldn’t you like to know.

Truthfully, a lot has been going on behind the scenes lately, and as 2012 was ushered in (drunk, with close friends, in a very low key event), things were already happening. Anyone knows, I’m the queen of saying “this year, everything will be different” and then having horrible follow through. I spent 23 and a large part of 24 stuck in the same pattern of wanting change, but never really attempting it. But things actually are changing, and I’m letting go of my fear when it comes to that silly thing called life.

Of course, me being me, I don’t want to reveal too much yet–lest my plans be spoiled. But I can let you know that there may be some big changes coming my way, both professionally and personally. And the second it feels like the right moment to share, you know I’ll reveal all, spilling my secrets like I always have. But, if you’d like a clue… I can admit that maybe, just maybe, there may be a boy involved. Just maybe.

And, in the mean time, I thought I would share a couple pictures from my sister’s Playboy Bunny themed birthday party this past weekend.

Workin 9 to 5… what a way to make a living… barely gettin by.

Striped Joe Fresh hoodie. Black high wasted skirt. Black studded belt (from Claire’s). Layered tights. Not pictured: Black studded boots.

It’s been a long, long while since my last clothing inspired post, mostly because my room, like my life, had got slightly (okay… very very very) unorganized. It was actually kind of insane. But since I seem to be getting things in order, I thought there was no better time to break out a fashion post and my outfit du jour. Yes, it’s simple. But lately when it comes to work I’m feeling uninspired. I think it’s mostly because while I’m still working there physically, my heart isn’t in it anymore. Gone are the days of Pirate inspired outfits and silly dress ups. Instead, mostly, all I want is to get through the day and week, the time until I find a new job and can officially leave. Hopefully though, as things keep changing, the fashion posts will continue and I’ll find a reason to dress up again.

And as the summer’s ending… the cool air will rush your hard heart away.

Black Danier sweater. White Tank top. Blue and green plaid pleated skirt. Claires’s black thigh high socked. Not pictured: studded boots (from my birthday last year).

This work outfit is actually from a couple weeks back, but it’s a perfect example of my kind of autumn outfit. And since today (or rather, tomorrow just after midnight) is the first official day of Fall, what better time to show it off.

I love the autumn seasons for many reasons: A month of birthdays, Halloween, cozy oversized sweaters, over the knee socks, and many pairs of boots. It’s always been my favorite season for fashion, even though when I was school I usually found myself in my usual jeans and a t-shirt uniform. But for some reason, lately, I find myself in love with skirts and tights/over the knee socks.

Of course fall holds more than just fashion trends that I adore–there is also the change of color in the leaves, and that chill in the breeze that is the perfect excuse for cuddling. I know they say that spring is typically the season for falling in love, but for me fall has always been the time of year I’ve found myself surrounded by romance. And with a new boy in the picture (more on that later, I promise), I can only imagine there may be some cuddling on the horizon for yours truly. And I know the perfect outfit to do it in.

And isn’t she pretty in pink..

Pink Le Chateau blouse. White Wal-mart tank top. Dark Gray skinny dress pants. Assorted jewelry: silly bands, large silver hoops, Hello Kitty pink plastic ring, pink jeweled flower hairclip. Not pictured: Black slide sandals. Black Cardigan.

As I’ve mentioned before, I have an extremely emotional connection to clothing. When it comes to clothing, some things I hold onto just because of the memories attached. This particular shirt was bought when I was in the 11th grade during an awesome sale at Le Chateau for $5. While it’s a bit bigger on me now then it was then, it is still one of those shirts I absolutely adore. It’s funny too, because I can’t wear it without thinking about all the memories attached–which, given that I’ve owned it for seven years are quite a few. I still remember wearing it for my first Valentine’s Day with you know who. You would think that it would be painful to wear this, and have those days come flashing back, but it’s not.

Once in a while, a stroll down memory lane isn’t so bad. Especially when you feel so pretty.

For Goodness sake… I got the Hippy Hippy Shake. Yeah I got the Shake… Ooh, the Hippy Hippy Shake.

Label-less “hippie” dress found at Value Village. Pink beads. Assorted rings. Not Pictured: Very intense and tall black and cork wedges.

One of my favorite things about summer? The ability to go pants-less. While for work I still tend to wear dress pants more often then I’d like to, I relish the days I can slip into something a little prettier. And this new dress, found for $5.99 at Value Village, is the perfect example. It’s comfy, and cute, and makes me feel like a total flower child when I slip into it. I also love that it looks great with my crazy tall wedges, or a bar of battered old cowboy boots. Now if only the time machine came with it.

They call me Superman… I’m here to rescue you.

Graphic Superman t-shirt. Skinny black skirt from Sirens. Layered black tights. Assorted rings. Not pictured: Purple cardigan. Black ankle boots.

I have a surprising amount of superhero t-shirts. However, my collection is not even near complete. The ones currently adoring my wish list are the “I only date superheros t-shirt“, a Flash t-shirt, and a Green Lantern t-shirt. Thankfully however, I can pull of wearing this t-shirt to work without looking too casual. In fact, I’ll go out on a limb and say I felt pretty damn sassy in my ensemble today. And even better, it caught the eye of the cute guy who works across the hall from me. It was all the shirt–I know it.

((By the way, that Superheroes website is absolutely amazing. I seriously want everything there, including the Green Lantern power ring and the Bat symbol ring and the Wonder Woman cami and panty set and pretty much everything else listed. Also, the Wonder Woman costume since I’ve already decided–yes, 4 months ahead of schedule–that I’m being Wonder Woman for Halloween.))

Oh, my love she is a creature… of character and feature. And no words can paint a picture… of the queen of all argyle.

Pastel argyle sweater shirt (Frenchy’s find!). Black skinny pants (from Wal-mart). Silver heart necklace (from Claire’s). Assorted rings. Not pictured: White Ballet Flats.

So… it’s been a long while since I’ve done a fashion post, and.. with lacking the ability to formulate words, I thought no time like the present for a fashion post.

Sometimes, when life seems complicated (that is for another post entirely), the simpler the outfit the better. Not a lot went into this outfit–no layers, like I usually wear– and yet I absolutely love it. My love for argyle will never die and finding this sweater made me giddy and excited. So what if I look like an old man about to go golfing. That’s exactly the look I was going for.

PS. anyone else notice how long my hair’s getting. Love it!

With forces of darkness abound… the demons and vamps always come around. But when they rise up in the night… the Slayer will come… the Slayer will fight.

Floral Lace Sundress. Black knitted cardigan. Pink Beaded Choker and Moon and star necklace (both from Claire’s). Not pictured: Black and cork wedges.

I’ve been watching a lot of Buffy the Vampire Slayer lately. I’m rewatching the entire series, seasons 1-7 (which, I finally collected all of as of this Christmas.) Whenever I watch Buffy, I instantly am inspired by her style, just as I did when I was 13, and find myself longing for warm Southern Californian days. It may be spring, and there may be hints that summer is on it’s way, but the days can still have a chill in the air. Never-the-less I decided to brave any chill and let my inner Buffy come out. The look is subtle, and I doubt anyone else would think “Wow, she’s totally copying Buffy!” but to me, this is her to me. I realize that I’m totally putting my inner nerd out there for the world to see, but oh well. I am who I am.